I followed the plan quite well today. Morning water and supplements and then a breakfast smoothie. I incorporated vegetables with both lunch and dinner – in fact, dinner was just a couple of roasted sweet potatoes. I oddly did not crave any meat today – which is quite unusual. I was not very active today – didn’t even leave the house today. But I did a lot of reading, house-keeping, and goal setting for the new year. My biggest goal for 2018 is to lose 100 pounds.
The first day went well. I followed the plan – with the exception of having breakfast. I spent all morning trying to figure out this blog thing and lost track of time. But I did start off the day with the two glasses of water and supplements. And I also managed to add some raw fruit/vegetables to each meal that I had during the day. Unfortunately, one meal was a cheeseburger and fries – but I added a green juice for dessert. My other meal was some leftover baked rigatoni – and I added an apple for dessert. But, hey, I followed my plan. I also hung up some photos of me at my goal weight around the house – it is hard to believe that I looked like that at one time. Overall, not a bad start.
I am a middle-aged man trying something different in order to get healthy and lose some weight. This blog is intended to be my journal for what I hope is a great comeback story in my life. My hope is that this blog primarily helps hold me accountable. Secondly, I hope this blog will be a source of inspiration, or at least humor, for many others.
I have never even read a weight loss blog until a few days ago. I was surprised at how many there are and even more surprised to find that some have found it to be a source of income. Making money is not my purpose – but if I end up making a few bucks in the end, good for me. Rather, I intend for this to me more of a personal journal and confessional. I was raised Catholic – and while I am no longer practicing – guilt is woven into my fabric. When it comes to food, I have done some naughty, naughty things. It is time for this fat chooch to confess.
I have struggled with being overweight for my entire adult life. For some reason, I remember feeling like I struggled with weight as a child and through high school – but looking back at old photos, I wasn’t THAT overweight – at least not like I am now. I was in my peak physical shape in college. I loved college. Lots of different physical activities to participate in, something different to study every semester, and I really wanted to lose weight and look good for the girls. I was at about 200 pounds in my best physical shape. I was able to run several miles, swim laps, lift weights. Those were the days. And here I am, a few decades later and a few hundred pounds heavier. What I see when I look in the mirror – and especially when I look at current photographs – it utterly disgusting. I cannot believe that this has happened to me. But what’s done is done and now it is time to pick myself up and make some changes.
There is no doubt that I am addicted to food. When I am stressed, I eat. I am not talking about over-eating just a little bit. I am talking full blown gluttony. I don’t just get the large-size value meal, I get several of them. I honestly eat more than a typical family when I eat. It isn’t pretty. I can put an eight-piece fried chicken family meal down like nothing. Boxes of tacos. Large pizzas AND wings. Racks of ribs – plural. Family meals from Chinese restaurants. I literally eat family meals all by myself. Sometimes I go through the drive thru at several different places for dinner – and try to scarf down one meal before I make it to the next drive-thru. It really got bad when I was divorced and started living by myself with nobody to say: hey fat chooch, really? Eating by yourself is not good. Especially when you make enough money to eat pretty much whatever you want. I work all day at a sedentary job, stop through a drive-through on my way home, and go to town. I practically eat myself into a coma and then get up and do it all again. It is a sad, sad cycle. I certainly have a bad relationship with food. I have a similarly bad relationship with over-working, but that is another story for another day.
Food has always been an emotional crutch for me. I can look back on my life and tie significant life events to significant weight gains. It is bittersweet for me because I do love food. Being raised Italian, food is very important. I enjoy really good food and am a pretty damn good cook. So I am perplexed why I eat so many crappy foods that don’t even taste very good – I guess that is proof of addiction. I can tell the difference between truly good tasting food and the crap that I get through my car window…but when you are going to binge, might as well do it on the cheap stuff that you can get in quantity. I suppose drug addiction is much the same way.
I have tried all sorts of different diets. Entered lots of weight loss competitions. Read lots of books and watched lots of films about weight loss. I was a fan of the TV show several years ago that had contestants live at a ranch while they competed in a weight loss competition – until I saw how quickly many of them gained the weight back. I bought a bodybugg and now have a fitbit. I have jumped on all of the fads. I have lost and gained many, many pounds. I have come to the conclusion that you cannot make dramatic changes and expect them to last. It has to be one small step at a time in order to be a lifestyle change with any sense of permanency. The book that has most resonated with me is The Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. In fact, I believe he plans on issuing an updated release in 2018. He suggests that the problem is that we put our bodies under constant stress in a fight-or-flight condition. For me, I know that work and anxiety causes this. My body is packing on the weight as a form of protection. I need to find a way to lower my stress, and let my body feel comfortable in losing weight. As a starting point, Jon suggests not changing the way that you currently eat – because a dramatic change can actually add the stress that causes a fight-of-flight response. Instead, he suggests simply adding in healthy foods in addition to what you are currently eating. Adding in raw, fresh fruits and vegetables in addition to probiotics will allow the body to start recognizing real nutrition and eventually that is what the body will crave. He also writes about visualization and meditation. When I first read his book several years ago, he really lost me with the visualization and meditation talk – I thought that was a bit wackadoodle. But over the past few years, I have read a lot about mediation and have started practicing it. I have also read a lot about the brain, thinking, and sub-conscious thinking. I finally see the wisdom in what Jon suggests – it just took me a while. I am hopeful that I have now completed the education phase of my journey and am now ready to start putting everything that I have learned into practice. This journal/blog will hopefully help keep me accountable and on-point.
So, for the first week, my plan is to
- Have breakfast every morning. I normally do not.
- Add some fresh fruit and/or vegetables to each meal.
- Every morning: view a photo of me at my ideal weight, drink two glasses of water, take probiotic capsules, take 5 g of Omega-3, take a multi-vitamin.
- Every night: Take 5 g of Omega-3, write and entry into the blog, view of photo of me at my ideal weight, visualize, meditate.
I weighed in this morning at my all time highest weight of 400.8 pounds. It was really disturbing to break the 400 pound mark. But it won’t last long. I measure out at 65 inches in girth around my stomach and also 65 inches around my shoulders. My neck is 21 inches. I wear 5XL clothing – basically tent size.
Here we go.