April was another crappy month. No semblance of following the plan whatsoever. The changes that I were hoping to make at work didn’t materialize. I have decided to start delegating more, so hopefully that will lower my stress levels. My diet has been total crap – and I feel like crap also.
I ordered these drink mixes called Liquid IV – it seems to be a lower calorie version of Gatorade. I have noticed that my calves cramp up a lot and I am certain it is from being dehydrated. So starting yesterday afternoon, I have been drinking lots of water and several of this Liquid IV drink mixes. I woke up feeling good but then started getting a headache and feeling crummy. I have felt crappy all day. I suppose it is my body adjusting to getting a normal amount of water.
I have read a lot about nutrition and I know what kind of good nutrition I need to put in my body – and I can afford it and I have the time to prepare it – but I don’t. Why do I crave fried chicken and cheeseburgers and pizza when I know how crummy I feel each and every time after I eat those things? These foods are drugs – plain and simple. Legal drugs. And I am an addict. And so are a lot of other people. There is really no different between me and some poor guy addicted to pain pills. Except the guy addicted to pain pills might look normal – I obviously look very abnormal. I suppose healthy people pity obese people like me – much like I pity people addicted to drugs or alcohol.
I am not sure when my addiction to food began. But it got a lot worse after my divorce. The dog doesn’t look at me funny when I gorge in my house. The only time I eat normal portions are when I am eating with other people – which isn’t that often.